It’s 2 am and I am still tossing in my bed thinking about Manav and our much hyped wedding. Feel like calling him and talking it out but there is something that is stopping me. Nothing hurts you more than the communication gap that you develop between you and your closest pal. Manav isn’t just my pal but he’s my soul mate and I am feeling guilty of avoiding him this way.
“Are you sleeping sweetheart?” I was too restless so I called him up.
“Am I in my dreams or are you actually on the phone?” He inquired in his lovely sleepy voice. I always love that tone of his.
“The way I have been behaving lately it might appear to be a dream but I am actually on the call baby. Can you talk to me?” I replied with the love showing in my tone.
“Hmm.. Sometimes I wonder how I will survive with you for the rest of my life. You are just so unpredictable. I have known you since we were born but still I cannot judge your moves.”
“Come on sweetheart! You know me much more than I know myself. I love you!”
“Aha! What’s the matter? Why are you being so romantic? Are you going to end this relation?” My over-show of love made him suspicious.
“I am trying to woo you with my love and you are predicting idiotic things. I guess you are still sleepy. It will be good to hang up now. I will call you tomorrow. Good night.” I got a bit irritated.
“Hey sweetie don’t hang up. It’s been quite long since I’ve heard your sweet voice. It’s been long since you said I love you. I am glad that you called.” He sounded so love deprived. It made me feel even guiltier.
Making confessions is not an easy job. All of a sudden you start feeling a lot of guilt for what you have done and I was feeling too guilty to do this to my sweetheart.
“Hey baby, I am really sorry for being so rude and selfish. I am already feeling that guilt. Please don’t make me feel it more by saying all this. I am really sorry.” I almost started crying.
“Don’t cry sweetheart. I love you. Oh Ridhima, I am not a fool. Darling I love you though you treat me cruel. You hurt me and you made me cry but if you leave me I will surely die.” He sang in his mellifluous voice. I just love it when he sings for me.
“I love you too sweetheart. I think you should go to sleep now. We will meet tomorrow.”
“I don’t have a problem sweetie. If you want I can talk and if you say I can come over to your place.”
“No I’ll be fine. Wanted to apologize and tell many other things too but will do that tomorrow. Good night. Love you.”
“Ok darling. See you tomorrow. Good night and I will always love you.”
His last words made me ease off my worries. I kept thinking of what will I say to him tomorrow. With all these thoughts running a marathon in my head, I kept tossing in bed till I fell asleep.
I woke up early the next morning; it was due the excitement I guess! I met Manav at a café for morning coffee.
“Wow! I can’t believe that I am having a morning coffee with my girl.” He joked.
“I guess you going to have morning coffee with me for the rest of your life now.” I signaled him about what was going on in my mind.
“But will you be waking up early everyday?” He raised his eyebrows in astonishment.
“If you don’t want then I will not do so.” I winked at him.
“Hmm.. Leave this. Tell me what is bothering my baby so much?” The smile on his face made me go weak in my knees.
“Marriage.” I preferred coming straight to the point.
“Tanya’s?” He inquired as if he wasn’t aware whose marriage I was thinking of.
“Our marriage Manav!” I said in a candid voice.
“Oh! Are you sure you want to talk about this?”
“Yes Manav. I am pretty sure about this now.” There was a confidence in my voice which he liked
but at the same time it gave him jitters.
“I am really sorry for being so selfish all this while. I love you a lot and I can’t afford to loose you. I’ve been avoiding this just because I am not confident enough of taking care of you and your family. You have known me ever since I was in my diapers. You are familiar with my lousy lifestyle. You know I can’t wake up early, I can’t cook, I am irresponsible, I am short-tempered, I am afraid of this big commitment and I love you! These things can be changed but I don’t trust myself for bringing these changes though I promise I will try my level best to change myself for you sweetheart. Now tell me, are you ready to spend the rest of your life with a girl like me?” I said it almost in a single breath.
He held my hand, looked into my eyes, smiled, gave me a kiss and said, “I am aware of all these things Ridhima and I have already accepted you with it. All I wanted was a promise from you that you won’t ever let me go. I don’t want to rush into it until and unless you feel that you are ready for this and you don’t need to worry about these petty issues. Instead of you I will make morning coffee and I promise I will never complain about it.”
Before he could say anything else, I was down on my knees saying, “So you promise to make me morning coffee without any complain ever?” He was astounded by this gesture of mine.
“Of course sweetheart!” He bent down and gave me a kiss.
That is what I wanted. The surety of being accepted the way I am.
I was relieved of a big monkey on my back and now it was time to celebrate. Though the marriage date wasn’t decided but getting the assurance for the same from me was a herculean task for my sweetheart.
The bigger challenge is yet to overcome and it is to tie the nuptial knot!
